Be Careful Out There!

First and foremost, HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!  I certainly hope you are having an incredibly wonderful day!  I was blessed with three bottles of my favorite wine (thankfully, my tastes are relatively cheap), a card and several hand-made pieces from the O.C.  P.C. has been cleaning the house while the child and I take turns playing video games and watching movies.  Pot pies for lunch and BBQ ribs w/ homemade apple cider are on the stove for dinner.  The sun is shining and it's a beautiful day out.  I certainly hope you are all as blessed as I am.

That being said, for my own personal amusement, I did some playing around on the wide world of the web today.  And may I just say this one thing.  Please, dear friends, be careful out there!  IF I were the malicious and dangerous type, you would be amazed at how much information I can find out about you!  More than I really care to know actually.  Because while I am not a stalker (unless I super duper love you!) I am an extremely curious person.  Ironically, it's not so much my fascination with individuals that keeps me busy, it's the fascination with how much is really floating around on the web.  It stems from hundreds of hours of genealogical research and the amazing things I now know about my family with nothing more than some names and dates to start out with.

But friends, the internet (as vast and full of knowledge as it is) should always be viewed as a nosy small town where everyone knows everything about you.

Example.  I picked a blogger (lets say I picked one at random *wink*).  Then I picked on thing of her profile and strategically entered it into a search engine.  And OUILA!  Just like that I was led to another social networking site she accesses.  Just out of curiosity, I pulled a single phrase from that site and again put it into a search engine with the correct parameters.  And BAM!  I stumbled on enough information to make a true stalker drool.  Now I'm not going to name names (for the safety and protection of the unknowing victim) but I will say that in a matter of minutes I found out her real name, her daughter's name, pictures of her family, where she went to school and some other neat little tidbits about her life.

Had it been my prerogative to do so, I could have used that information to dig even deeper:  information from newspaper archives, family history, etc.  Thankfully, I only use my super powers to research my family history or in rare instances of utter boredom/curiosity.  But my point is this:  Please be careful what you put out there on the internet.  There is no way to assure you're safe.  Even if you've blocked people on your facebook.  Even if you've used all of the security settings on the sites you connect with.  If you've put it out there, chances are if someone wanted it, they could get access to it.

As for me?  I'm no different.  A quick search of an old email account revealed an old online journal I'd completely forgotten about.  I tend not to worry too much about what is out there.  I know there are old, forgotten accounts floating around, some of which I wouldn't even know where to begin to have them closed or removed.  But I'm pretty confident I rarely put anything out there I wouldn't hold my head up proudly about and say, "Yeah, that's me."  Even in my worst moment, I do at least own my actions.  I am perfectly aware that everything I put out there could be traced back to me if someone so desired to do so.  But I do worry about my friends, and other people who aren't always as clear on just how public even the most private person is online.

So please, my dear friends, keep track of your accounts.  Periodically check up on what exactly shows up if someone were to search a few key phrases (real name, usenames, emails, even as little as a last name and town).  Please keep yourselves safe and your children safe.

And if you've been following the previous discussions on a certain topic of interest...

Please read this excerpt I stumbled upon and tell me you didn't have to look twice at the date.  I won't presume to make any judgments of this person but I will say it is uncanny how certain things that have been said recently so closely resemble this little piece of writing from four years ago.  I guess there are some people who are simply not happy unless they are reliving the past over and over again!

• May 24, 2009

Psychopaths

So how do you deal with a person who doesn't have a "stop" button in their brain? How do you make them understand how cruel they are? If someone has no boundaries in relationships, how do you deal with that kind of person? I've been dealing with that all my life and, quite frankly, I'm getting tired of it.

     The last post I had was titled "Pushing Back". I've come to the conclusion that pushing back may not be the answer. The person pushing my buttons last night does not care, and never will, how much stress she puts on others around her. She has no conscience, so she has no concept of how she hurts others. There is a word for those types of people. It is called psychopath, which means someone is unable to feel empathy or remorse. For those of you who think you know exactly what that means, consider this. 

     The list of famous psychopaths in history is long. Here are just a few. Aileen Wournos, Ted Bundy, Charles Manson, John Wayne Gacy, The Zodiac Killer, and Ed Gein. These are examples of what a psychopath is. They had no remorse, conscience, or care of what they inflict on others around them. Supposedly people they care about or those around them. Their agenda is the most important and they must get what they want.

     I don't know the answer to this dilemma. Last night was horrible and I don't know how to react. I guess we'll see if she continues, but I know there will come a time when she has to pay for what she does. At least in some form or another.