Meet the Royals

I presume if you're here, I require no introductions.  

I am the infamous Major Sunshine (known by some as Princess PWT).  I am the proud wife of Prince not-always-so Charming and the even more than proud mother of the Ogre Child.  I'm often wordy, occasionally mouthy, and almost always opinionated.  When I'm not trying to think of new schemes to become a world dictator, I enjoy art, philosophy and just about anything creative or intellectual.  I have been known to rescue a lost soul from time to time and have even been accused of having a huge heart but only when I feel they will be utterly devoted to my plan for world domination.

As for the rest of the Royal Family:

The Queen is the self-proclaimed matriarch of the family.  She likes to think she rules the roost around the kingdom, but in truth, she's usually too drunk to give any real orders.  It doesn't take long for even the most niave rookie to realize as long as you keep the Queen in gin and smuggle her some of the Dutchess's special brownies from time to time, you can pretty much get away with murder around here.  Okay, not pretty much.  You CAN get away with murder!  That's why we have the gators!




The Dutchess is the Queen's sister.  Technically, she's adopted, but you wouldn't know it by the way they act.  Dutch is famous for her special brownie batter and hell hath no fury like an Aunt who's had her best stash raided!  But don't let the fragrant cloud of incense that lingers in the air fool you.  Dutch is quick as a whip and I'm pretty certain she's been the brains behind more than one prison escape.





The Dame was appointed by the Queen.  I'm not really sure how she manages to put up with the antics of this Royal Family.  This girl has brains and a huge heart, but woe be the fool who crosses her.  She's the proud wife of the only male Royal.  The Sir was appointed when it became apparent that a bunch of ladies standing on chairs screaming because there was a spider in the corner wasn't exactly Royal behavior.  He is our token spider-slaying knight in shining armor but make no mistakes about where his heart belongs.




The Vet has been with us almost as long as the gators.  Once they started downing trespassers and Jack Daniels, it quickly became clear those gators were going to be needing a little more TLC than we could find in a bottle of pepto.  Since then, the Vet has been in charge of any number of strange and unusual pets that wonder into the kingdom.  She's a regular zoo keeper and she's so good at her job she's become a permanent fixture in our family.





The Cop is a vital member of our little family.  When you've had as many missing persons reports filed as we have, you're bond to get to know a few members of the local force quite well.  Eyebrows start to raise in some pretty high places if your names comes up as a 'person of interest' too many times.  Thankfully, with her help, we're able to stay out of the spotlight more often than not.  There have been a few instances in which her hands have been tied on the matter, but nothing a little midnight jail-break couldn't solve.

The Duck is another member of our family.  She's easy going, floats us through some tough times, and is a total quack-up!  (That was bad, I know!)  But life just wouldn't be the same without our duck around.  We love that's she's easy-going and pretty much lets most of our crazy antics slide right on by, but get a few drinks in the girl and watch out!  She may be our token duck but to us she's totally an eagle!

The Bartender is... well I think that's pretty self-explanatory.  You know that ol' saying about always being in good graces with the chef and the laundress?  Trust me, if you're a Royal, you want to be in the good graces of the Bartender.  She's practically a magician around here.  She decides whether you get that nice glass of wine at the end of a hard day or whether you get swamp water.  She controls the quality of the Queen's gin imports (and thus how forgiving the Queen is when you forget your dirty underwear on her shower curtain).  Whether the kingdom is happy and joyous or whether we're all a bunch of mean-spirited assholes really depends entirely on whether she's running a special on Jack Daniels or Fuzzy Navels.


So now you have the Who's Who of the Royal family.  You're probably wondering how we all came to be.  Let me just say this, "We are more than just group of bloggers.  We are a family!"  To quote my Aunt Dutch,

"Through the years, in real life, we have gone through just about every life changing event you can think of.   We have shared laughter, sorrow, disappointment, heartbreak, good fortune, and despair.  Through anything life threw at us, we knew that at any time of the day or night there would always be someone to talk to, listen, sympathize, and even tell us to get a fucking grip, if needed."

I really can't say it better than that.  Whether we know each other only online, or whether we live just down the door from each other, whether we immerse ourselves completely into the blogosphere of "The Royals" or whether we are Royal only by our deep connection to each other, each and every person in this group is part of our extended family.  You can read more about that connection on The Dutchess's post and get a better idea of how we're all connected, or you can just leave it at that.  Just know, while this may be a world of good-humor (or tasteless idiocy) and make-believe to you, to us it is much more than that.