Sunday, September 30, 2012

Diary of a Stamp - Part III

I am sorry for the delay on the final chapter of this sage.  I got busy with work/family stuff/getting laid (I wish) and forgot to schedule this post in advance.

So without further ado.  Here is the third and final chapter of Diary of a Stamp:

Don't forget to read Part I and Part II first.

Upon receiving my response to his insubordinate letter, my former uncle responded with this final rebuttal:  

In a shameless attempt to get out of paying a bill, you have attacked all my friends. After telling them about your comments, there replies were as follows:
Mary Jane said, "I need to weed out the bad kin and smoke 'em!"
Jose responded with "Senor Rojo been berry berry good!"
Jack thinks you hate him because he's black!
Then there's Bud. Bud cannot believe the terrible things you, a fellow horse lover, said about him. He wonders if you realize that a total disassociation with Bud would result in 5 majectic Cleidsdales starving to death? And wonders if you should be teaching our youths.
Till next time,
Sadly, a future world dictator cannot be troubled with squabbles of such petty nature.  It was clear from his response that my uncle had no intentions of discontinuing his self-harming relationships.  While I generally believe that each person should be entitled to fuck up their lives however they choose, my public relations executive brought it to my attention that my uncle's reckless behavior could reflect poorly on my image as a tyrant.

It was my diplomatic responsibility to persuade him to live a cleaner, less public life-style for the benefit of my campaign the world as a whole.

Soon after our discussion, my dear uncle 'retired' to a nice cabin in the woods surrounded by armed guards and barbed wire fence many miles of pristine wilderness for his enjoyment.  He now lives a quiet reclusive life and has not been seen or heard from in years.

Here's hoping you have a wonderful weekend.  

UPCOMING:  Next week (or the week after) we will be studying The Astrophysical Nuclear Rocket Science and The Dynamics of My Family Tree.  A PhD in Genealogical Clusterfuck is recommended before taking this course.  Class materials will include past historical studies of my family as well as some new and equally warped updates.

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