Monday, May 13, 2013

Destination Road Trip

I got a text from my blog-sister about 4 am this morning:


WHAT!?!  That's what you get for waking me up after you know Prince Charming bought me three bottles of wine for Mother's Day!  Like she expected anything less from me!

Anyway!  Apparently, The Queen got it in her head that an impromptu road trip was in order.  Normally I don't mind when she whips out the platinum cards and says "It's all on me ladies!"  But Jesus H. Christ!  She doesn't give those hookers enough time to wash their undies before we head out!  This means our caravan either looks something 
like this:
 
or this:

Needless to say, I was totally game for a road trip, but I insisted on taking my own vehicle.  Besides, I was just dying to show off the trophy from my latest world conquest!

As usual, those hookers had no idea where they wanted to go.  There were a few suggestions to hit the beach or the islands, but after an unusually long winter it was unanimously decided that most of us had not spent enough time here to really be bikini beach material.

Finally, I suggested we do something a little less conventional.  When I showed them what I had in mind, they all agreed it would be too much fun!
So we loaded up the caravan and headed out.

It wasn't very long before the tragic state of our economy was staring us right in the face.

Of course, being the good-samaritans that we are, we brought her along for the ride.  The more the merrier right?

By the time we were about halfway across the great wide and empty as fuck state of Wyoming, the caravan was clipping along at a brisk 90 MPH.  Needless to say, even the cat demanded we slow the fuck down after a particularly unfortunate incident.
But at last, our desitation was in sight.  We knew we were in the right place when we saw this floating in the sky!
Everyone was totally exhausted, but a few of us decided to grab a night cap before we headed to our hotel rooms!  Unfortunately, since The Queen and Dutch has already called it a night, there was no one there to supervise us.  Apparently, Utah doesn't appreciate the Royal's sense of humor!  Pretty sure The Dame, The Vet and myself are banned for life.
But I bet they never forget us!!


8 comments:

  1. LOL. Love the coconut water thingy. LMAO

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    1. I know right! I just couldn't pass up that lovely gem!

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  2. I still want to know why you were calling me??! LMAO

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    1. Because your my favorite slut! But if you tell the other sluts I'll deny it!

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  3. We can't take you bitches any place nice. The police escort out of town was a bit over the top I thought.. but then what do I know. Hidden Blizzards wants us run off the damn planet. While Blizzards don't swear, they will do God's job and pass judgement. Hear that,, it's the wind of a Blizzard's cold white ass!

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    1. Don't worry. I packed the Book of Mormon, the Holy Bible and the Quran. We can pray our asses out of any moral dilema!

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  4. Thank you! Since that dam copl in Utah gave me a ticket for not becoming his 7 th wife I've wanted nothing more than to pee all over that dam state.

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    1. OMG Sis! You have NO IDEA how glad I am you didn't marry him. It was probably my Uncle and if you'd married him I'd have to break out the genealogy charts and a scientific calculator to decide whether you were my sister, cousin, aunt or grandma!

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